Dating an older white man

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Last summer, I was on a date with a 20-something man we’ll call Trent. I had been explaining how my parents met and married through an arrangement, something that’s common in South Asian culture.

At first, conversation flowed—we talked careers, food, travel, friends, family. He didn’t quite follow, which is understandable, so I tried to explain: “It’s a cultural tradition.” “They define love and marriage differently than the American way.” “It may not be for you or me, but it was for them,” etc.

Johnson and Musk are more similar than one would presume.

Neither men looks like they’re in the best headspace.

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So, they don’t have to lead to actual tension—but a lot of the time, they do.

But the feeling that I need to be pardoned for my background before I can find connection with a potential partner is something I’m finally throwing away.

In the last few years, when I started working—and therefore spending most of my time—in an office where I am one of a few people of colour, I realized I’ve been gravitating towards more diverse circles on the evenings and weekends as if those spaces are water and I’m dehydrated.

Sure, she’ll have skin like a baby’s bottom, but is that a big enough reward for looking a bit like Rickman? Apparently, luxury brands have seen sales flourish thanks to a vogue for younger women tasking older men with buying their handbags and high fashion in exchange for the pleasure of their company. Though the jury’s out on that last one – what average 32-year-old would want to date a man old enough to be her father unless she was getting a healthy amount of new season Prada out of it? Woke 35-year olds probably need no advice that dating anyone younger than your baby sister is weird. That said, as all of us who despaired at his Leave campaign lies knows, he’s always played fast and loose when it comes to numbers.

There’s an age-old rule that an acceptable age to date is half your own plus seven. It’s the Johnsons of the world that need reminders that anyone under 30 probably has enough on their plate, what with the pressure of a lifetime of renting and the impending doom of Brexit to have time to bat away riled up old guys.

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