Kids dealing with parents dating
While we’ve discussed meeting each other’s kids, it’s something we’re holding off on until we’re sure this is a stable, serious relationship. I have friends who waited almost a year, and one who only waited 2 weeks. It depends on the kids’ ages, personalities, and [specific] situations.” —Hannah, 43, Dayton, OH“I have a rule that I have to have been dating the person for a year. For example, if I was dating someone who had kids in the same age group, it would make sense for us and our kids to hang out and it wouldn’t necessarily need to be a ‘’ moment. My kids know me better than anyone, and I actually trust their judgment of people’s character.” —Hannah, 43, Dayton, OH“If they didn't like someone initially, not necessarily. But a person’s parenting style is very revealing, and a couple times I was turned off by what felt like tolerance for abusive behavior from their young (6-10 year-old) sons.But I haven’t felt the need to break that rule yet.” —Annie, 30, Moscow, IDWould you stop dating someone if you kids didn’t like them? Kids have complicated emotions just like I do, and I think they deserve a chance to work through whatever emotional hang-ups they may have about a situation. That was really hard to watch and it made me want to get out of the relationship.” —Jeff, 52, Boston, MA“I have never dated someone with kids.
They tend to like everyone, so if they didn’t like someone, there’d probably be a good reason. They have a much better understanding that the kids always come first, schedules can be unpredictable and sometimes pretty restrictive.So the upshot is, I just don't date as often as I used to because my motivation has to be stronger to even get to that level.” —Adam, 34, Atlanta, GA“First, there are practical and time management challenges.Second, a lot of people aren’t that interested in a relationship with someone who has kids.“I’ve generally waited 5-6 months or longer to introduce them to any partners, and some people they never met because I never felt it was someone with long-term potential.” —Jeff, 52, Boston, MA“This is something I’m wrestling with now. I also pay attention to how someone talks about their kids—lovingly? “I’ve mostly dated women with kids, because parents and non-parents have pretty different experiences and that’s a divide that’s hard to bridge.I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 months (he also has a daughter). They notice he says unkind things to me or doesn’t treat me well? If it’s a reason which points to something deeper I’ll give their opinion some weight. Before meeting my current boyfriend, I would use a dating app and think to myself, ‘Would I want this person to spend any time around my kids? That’s much less of an issue now that my kids are older.